Timing, it can go fuck itself ... or ... I'm tapping out

Been roughly a month since the last blog entry, so here is a brief recap of the last month before this round of my diatribe.

• Officially back in AZ
• Still not smoking
• Lobo & Western X start shooting in roughly a month.

That's enough of that. Now on to the blog at hand.

In early 2000 someone came into my life that would not only change my life but would be someone that would actually make me hold on to an ideal that is "normal".

So now over the course of the almost eleven years there have been ups, there have been downs, there have been occurrences that haven't made a bit of sense. Every time things seem to make sense it takes another turn and it has yet to turn good.

Now over the last two years every time the timing lined up, something got thrown in the gears. There goes the timing ... AGAIN.

For eleven years I've seen and heard it all about this person, subject and topic. Normally I would think it's me being blind to what is really going on BUT almost everyone else sees it the same way as I have been.

Perception is a very interesting thing. One mans perception of a situation could be the complete opposite of another. (Yes. I know that sentence seems redundant.) Apparently a good portion of us all drank the same Kool-aid cause we're all seeing the same shit, except one. Except the one person that leaves the rest of us scratching our heads in complete confusion.

I've been told lately that if I truly want something that I will try every angle to get what I want without thinking of any consequences. Even though I do disagree with the person that told me that, I DO agree with that persons statement in regards to this particular situation.

Over the last few months I've said to myself that I'm going to be done with the whole situation and scenario, and without fail something brings me back in. Like a true addict, I allow myself to go back to something that will continue to give me the same result.

• Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results. -Rita Mae Brown

(Before anyone jumps my shit and says that quote is not from "Rita Mae Brown" but from Ben Franklin, Albert Einstein, an old Chinese proverb or whoever ... do some research. This is the first known appearance of the quote in print.)

Is it time to realize I'm at the breaking point and to finally tap out? Is it time to end another chapter of my life even though it is SOOOOOO far from how it was written?